Thursday, April 19, 2007

Wrestling...

I have lost 41 lbs.  You say victory?  Aw shucks, thanks.  But, I don't really feel that way.  Don't get me wrong.  My community has really encouraged me, and I love to hear the, "wow, you've lost weight" comments.  But, I have a long way to go.  Not that long ago, Becky and I made a decision to get ourselves healthy, and hey, the added benefit of looking better isn't bad either.  We have both lost a lot of weight, and we continue to work at it, more to go!

But, health isn't simply about weight loss.  I want to be "in shape".  Now that can mean a lot of things, but I am thoroughly convicted that I am not there.  Brushing my teeth takes my breath away!  Furthermore, I am convinced there are several obstacles that stand in my way.  I need to do both aerobic and strength training.  This is where the wrestling comes in.

I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I do want to do.  Sound familiar?  I know that this is a human problem, but it really frustrates me.  Right now, it is affecting my working out.  Everyday I have been focused on trying to do it, but every day I have some excuse.  I got a phone call, I am tired from the kids or work, my back hurts, I have higher priority stuff to do, I need a break.

I just can't seem to break the cycle.  In the last 2 months, I have gone running (actually schlepping) once and I lifted weights 1.5 times.  In 2 months!  I have an accountability group, and apparently it isn't always about accountability, personal responsibility is where it is at.

I bought a jump rope.  Another useless purchase that makes me feel like I am going to work out but will only increase my guilt?  Hopefully not.  This morning I was demonstrating to a curious Drew, and I got in a fight with the rope.  Apparently I am not as coordinated as 5th grad girls on the playground.  The rope, thin plastic of some sort, caught me right in the back, leaving a 2 foot thin welt.  Ouch!

Do you think I will ever beat this?  I think Nike was right.  I need to just do it.

Rob

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