Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Can I be honest?

I am not sure I want to go to Haiti.  On the other hand, I can’t wait.  I am sure this is a feeling that all missionaries struggle with before they  go, but that doesn’t make it any easier!  This is hard. 

Before I share what is bugging me, let me assure you that I am totally committed to all that I believe God has in front of us.  I am totally committed to following Him and moving with the family to Haiti.  Having said this, let me vent a little…

You might think since we have decided to go that we are willingly giving up many things.  Let me assure you, often it is more like I am going kicking and screaming.  I don’t want to give up my comforts.  I like my stuff and I like living in the US.  Daily I am bombarded with things I must give up.  I try to remind myself that i will be gaining so much more, but again, that doesn’t always make it easier.

Here is a small sample of things I am really struggling giving up…  grocery selection, pizza/chinese delivery, “you name it” sit down restaurants, fast food, good roads, church community, constant air conditioning, 2 cars, education options for our children, bug-free food, our pool, our pool, our pool, high speed internet, high speed internet, high speed internet, reliable and clear phone calls, familiar culture, reliable electricity, space, organization, Home Depot, Best Buy, Staples, milk, half and half, computer repair options, daily mail service, 1-flight-visits to family, laws, our Honda Odyssey, access to medical care, my riding lawn tractor, limitless entertainment options, privacy, everyone speaking my language, cheap utilities, cleanliness, stuff, shopping, financial independence and security, high speed mobile media, church community, live preaching, security, coffee shops, government stability, etc etc etc…

Thanks for letting me vent.

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